Quiet thoughts

Your not alone.
As long as the wind blows,
the grass gorws
and clouds glide across a wide blue sky
your surrounded.
As long as the roots of a tall tree
sprout deep into the earth,
there is life.
Mother nature is always amungst us.
God speaks through his creations
and teases through his miricles.
Whats there to fear other than lonliness?
What more to worry about then death?
The life unlived.

In Limbo.

This is a poem I found on a website my mother sent to me. Its as if this poem was written to pin point exactly what I'm feeling. Funny how you sit in front of a desk, with i diary or journal upon it, a pen in hand, and you try with all your brain power to think of the words to describe your emotions. Then you hear one poem or song, and suddenly the words are THERE! And you have an "ah-ha" moment because you finally understand how you feel, but not only that, you have found a person who identifies with you. This poem is that for me.

My life has fallen down
around me before
--lots of times,
for lots of reasons--
usually other people.

And most of the time
I was fortunate enough
to have a large lump of
that life hit me on the
head and render me numb
to the pain & desolation
that followed.
And I survived.
And I live to love again.

But this,
this slow erosion from below
--or within--
it's me falling down around my life
because you're still in that life
--but not really.
And you're out of that life
--but not quite.

I do all right
alone,
and better
together,
but
I do very poorly
when
semi-
together.

In solitude
I do much,
in love
I do more,
but
in doubt
I only transfer
pain to paper
in gigantic Passion Plays
complete with miracles and martyrs
and crucifixions and resurrections.

Come to stay
or
stay away.

This series of passion poems
is becoming a heavy cross to bare.

Timing is everything...

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose
under the heaven.

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Everything is meant to be together. . .

The fountains mingle with the river,

And the rivers with the ocean;

The winds of heaven mix forever,

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle;--

Why not I with thine? 

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister flower would be forgiven,

If it disdained it's brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--

What are all these kissings worth,

If thou kiss not me?

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzlKwOoQ4eE

You ever wonder how homeless people got on the street. Walk past one sitting on the sidewalk with a sign and a cup in front of them, peering eagerly up at you because you are one of the only people who acknowlegde their existence, therefore you might be the person who gives them that sacred dollar?
I wonder if those people ever dream that one day a nice wealthily person in a fancy designer suit will just come up to them and say "I'm going to save you from your misery today."
Has that ever REALLY happened other then in movies? Can a stranger really save you?

I feel as though a stranger has saved me. The problem is that they weren't a stranger in my eyes before, they were just a new friend. But now that I look back it is abundantly clear that they were but a stranger. Then again I am surrounded by a lot of strangers who I now call friends.

I sometimes walk out onto this great big lawn of grass at night, when there is so little light so you can see the stars so much more clearly. Its magnificent, especially since the moon is almost full and glows with this ring of light around it. I ponder of the days when I wished to be an astronaut, one of the few woman at that, and get to explore the moon. What a sight, to be able to take a stroll on that thing in the sky, away from my home and my past and my pain. I would do the moon walk, and dance around the flags from all the countries that have made it there. How I wish I could just escaper to another world entirely, to not be burdened with the constant reminder that I will never have what I SO BADLY want more then anything right now.
The cravings are eating away at me SO MUCH that I almost can't take even being here, pretended that I'm so light and bubbly when all I feel inside is this heavy mound of regret and sadness.

My only real happiness these days are my walks into the trees. They feel more like my friends then anything else. They tower over me, provide me shade when its too hot, and let me lean on them when I feel weak. I used to have visions that I could just fall into the earth, get absorbed by the soil and just sprout out into a large beautiful tree. Then again, there is no chance I could ever sit still in one spot for my whole life. I am a drifter, it is my nature to explore and branch out.

Which brings me back to the homeless. What is one of those homeless people were just running away from their pain, and all it lead them to was no money and no home? What if one day they were standing on their college campus, and they have that "ah-ha" moment where everything is put into perspective. And they realize they don't belong there. That they never REALLY belonged there. That in order to find themselves, they have to disappear. They have to not exist to all these people who only cause them pain. That didn't tell anyone, didn't notify the troops or call their mother. In that same "ah-ha" moment they have already begun to drift away, mentally. And then they just start walking. Into the woods. Away from their beds. No cell phone needed. They just start walking, and never look back.

What was it like for them in the moment to know they would never have to go back? Relief? Sorrow?

I hope they were in a search for better things. For that miracle only few get to see. I wish only the very best because thats what I hope people hope for me.

I Stand For Planned Parenthood.

My feminist ways are being reawakened thanks to the conflict over the government threatening to take away funding for Planned Parenthood Clinics around the country.
I attended the Planned Parenthood Rally sum odd weeks ago and it was ELECTRIFYINGLY powerful. So many women and men gathered at the square in the middle of the court houses, some famous and some local, and the energy was so positive and loving.
I couldn't have felt more at home, like I really was in the right place at the right time, with my mom and friends beside me. It was amazing.

My great friend Ali put this article as her FB status last week and I though it was so well said that I just HAVE to share it here:
http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIIIE.html

What a speech! Thanks Ali <3

Tao Te Ching

Witter Bynner's translation of the Tao Te Ching:

Verse Number Ten
Can you hold the door of your tent
Wide to the firmament?
Can you, with simple stature
Of a child, breathing nature,
Become, notwithstanding,
A man?
Can you continue befriending
With no prejudice, no ban?
Can you, mating with heaven,
Serve as a female part?
Can you learned head take leaven
From the wisdom of your heart?
If you can bear issue and nourish its growing,
If you can guide without claim or strife,
If you can stay in the lead of men without their knowing,
You are at the core of life.

Robert G. Henricks Translation

Verse Number Ten 
In nourishing the should and embracing the One
- Can you do it without letting them leave?
In concentrating your breath and making it soft
- can you make it like that of a child?
In cultivating and cleaning your profound mirror
- can you do it so that it has no blemish?
In loving the people and giving life to the state
- can you do it without using knowledge?
In opening and closing the gates of Heaven-
can you play the part of the female?
In understanding all within the four reaches-
can you do it without using knowledge?

Give birth to them and nourish them.
Give birth to them but don't try to own them;
Help them to grow but don't rule them.

David K Reynolds Translation:

Verse Number Ten 
Can you focus totally on the task at hand?
Can you see and hear and touch you surroundings with an open mind?
Can you disregard your own convenience?
Can you feel and act naturally without obsessing with ought and should?
Whatever change occurs without flying away can you sit on the eggs of Reality?
Can you see clearly enough to know when nonaction is action?
Just offering, however accepted.
Just growing vast while growing small.
Just doing Reality's work.
Recognized or not.

This was what I found on page 6 of the large book Whole World; Access to TOOLS & IDEAS for the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY. The page itself was entitled Ancient Understandings, where three books by three different authors are quoted and cited for translating the same verses. It was hauntingly beautiful and held such great meaning that I felt I needed to share it.