Kind of lives.

What is this constant need for affirmation?
what is this ache and pain when your void isn't filled
when your body isn't touched
and your soul isn't fed with that recognition that you are in fact alive
that your not invisible
roaming around through space and time
your an active part of the present world

so what does it say when your unwanted in crowds
from people who once always wanted you around
what do I make of the one that had said
she wished we never had to leave the comfort of her bed
what does it say that she once wished I were dead?

should it not matter because those who matter would never mind
of is it that i have been dazed, lost in the repeating of time
life goes on, wounds heal and fires burn
perhaps one fall day it shall be anothers turn
to posses my thoughts and tickle my mind
with visions of hope that this new face will be a better kind

then of course, if their not i'll have her to think back on
write down my sorrow s and play back our old love songs-
then i'll be in that nostalgic mood of sadness and missery

"is it pathetic to cry of all the winters that will not be
of the broken sheets of ice floating down the hudson
that i shall never get to see"
I sit in nana's old rocking chair, writing franticly
blinding by all the sentences that must touch the paper before it escapes my memory

"come away with me" the words circle around in my brain
"drive to space and see all the stars in their glory and planets in their mystery"
"lets get high under a clear blue sky and escape all sanity"
"hold my hand through every step and it will be a fulfilling journey"

but he I am distracted by these uncertainties
when there is a life set out for me where I can see all that I can be
where the pain if less and structure provides some ease
the passion may grow dim but at least you'll have your loyalty.

What kind of lives are these?