to think…

I think i loved you because you made me feel something.

You made me feel sincere happiness.
You made me feel loved.
And then that love died.

And i cried and i cried.

And now all these years later
I can barely remember
feeling anything for you
compared to what i've felt
for these people who got me over you

and those same people
who consoled me in my darker times
now theres pain in their eyes
having lost a child.
a CHILD of nine.
And here I am
their loyal friend
feeling helpless
crying from agony and madness
a deeper cry then before
this cry opens dark doors
it numbs the brain for intervals of time
then releases a wave of grief that tsunamis the eye

its an exhausting roller coster of the most intense scenario of sadness i can imagine for any human in all of man kind

it is a maddening situation that tests the strongest person who has ever loved a child or any human being more then his own mind

it is a nightmare, a tragedy - a heartbreaking sad ending.
But the story has not finished for it never does

The story of this beautiful family lives on, and he lives now through our hearts.

We have planted a tree of him in our hearts where he will grow.
Life is somehow more meaningful now that i carry a piece of you wherever i go.
We must rejoice his life-
 and then take ownership of the lesson this fate has disguised.

What can we do to honor him?
What does he understand now that his life has ended?

This is a wake up call in itself, more important to learn from tragedy then to acquire wealth.
Love is the most valuable aspect of life.
To have loved a child so pure, innocent and new to the world- and then lose him before he has been given a proper chance to grow- is horrifying.
It is the worst kind of fate. But it does not kill the soul.

We must remember Anne Franks Father. What a human duty he did by sharing his daughters diary. A real person going through one of the most horrifying fate's god could muster.

But he lived on for the sake of his child, to honor her life and the service she did by writing.

And thats what we must do for you, Sweet Antwuan.