Dear Remy

Dear Remy,

Love songs pull at the heart strings
connected to the memories of your
tender lips warming mine
soothing and magnetic
addicting
obsessive

tears tumble down
to those same lips
that speak your praise
only when loneliness is aching

Dear Remy,

The thought of you makes my blood volcanic
my breathing quickens
and my fists clench
the memory of your emotional abuse
has me talking out scenarios to myself
as i walk down the street

Dear Remy,

The last time i wrote poetry about you
it was the first week you were mine
you were laying in my room
i was watching you sleep
writing "Theres a beautiful boy in my bed"

Dear Remy,

Why don't you stop calling me
stop tempting me
stop the cycle of endless misery
for each time around
we come to the same conclusion
that we're better separately

Dear Remy,

I miss you so fucking much
I cry at every love song
at every couple
at every baby
recalling that you would have been the father of mine.

Dear Remy,

i'm ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
you make me so blindingly
horrifyingly
traumatizing
breathless
I. just. CAN'T. even.

Dear Remy,
I wrote you a letter today.
I hope you never receive it.
I hope you read it.
I hope I mean it.

Dear Remy,

I met someone else.
They remind me of you,
but,
they don't tell me i'm mentally ill.

Dear Remy,

I'll always love you,

Dear Remy,