Timing is everything...

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose
under the heaven.

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

Everything is meant to be together. . .

The fountains mingle with the river,

And the rivers with the ocean;

The winds of heaven mix forever,

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one another's being mingle;--

Why not I with thine? 

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister flower would be forgiven,

If it disdained it's brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--

What are all these kissings worth,

If thou kiss not me?

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzlKwOoQ4eE

You ever wonder how homeless people got on the street. Walk past one sitting on the sidewalk with a sign and a cup in front of them, peering eagerly up at you because you are one of the only people who acknowlegde their existence, therefore you might be the person who gives them that sacred dollar?
I wonder if those people ever dream that one day a nice wealthily person in a fancy designer suit will just come up to them and say "I'm going to save you from your misery today."
Has that ever REALLY happened other then in movies? Can a stranger really save you?

I feel as though a stranger has saved me. The problem is that they weren't a stranger in my eyes before, they were just a new friend. But now that I look back it is abundantly clear that they were but a stranger. Then again I am surrounded by a lot of strangers who I now call friends.

I sometimes walk out onto this great big lawn of grass at night, when there is so little light so you can see the stars so much more clearly. Its magnificent, especially since the moon is almost full and glows with this ring of light around it. I ponder of the days when I wished to be an astronaut, one of the few woman at that, and get to explore the moon. What a sight, to be able to take a stroll on that thing in the sky, away from my home and my past and my pain. I would do the moon walk, and dance around the flags from all the countries that have made it there. How I wish I could just escaper to another world entirely, to not be burdened with the constant reminder that I will never have what I SO BADLY want more then anything right now.
The cravings are eating away at me SO MUCH that I almost can't take even being here, pretended that I'm so light and bubbly when all I feel inside is this heavy mound of regret and sadness.

My only real happiness these days are my walks into the trees. They feel more like my friends then anything else. They tower over me, provide me shade when its too hot, and let me lean on them when I feel weak. I used to have visions that I could just fall into the earth, get absorbed by the soil and just sprout out into a large beautiful tree. Then again, there is no chance I could ever sit still in one spot for my whole life. I am a drifter, it is my nature to explore and branch out.

Which brings me back to the homeless. What is one of those homeless people were just running away from their pain, and all it lead them to was no money and no home? What if one day they were standing on their college campus, and they have that "ah-ha" moment where everything is put into perspective. And they realize they don't belong there. That they never REALLY belonged there. That in order to find themselves, they have to disappear. They have to not exist to all these people who only cause them pain. That didn't tell anyone, didn't notify the troops or call their mother. In that same "ah-ha" moment they have already begun to drift away, mentally. And then they just start walking. Into the woods. Away from their beds. No cell phone needed. They just start walking, and never look back.

What was it like for them in the moment to know they would never have to go back? Relief? Sorrow?

I hope they were in a search for better things. For that miracle only few get to see. I wish only the very best because thats what I hope people hope for me.

I Stand For Planned Parenthood.

My feminist ways are being reawakened thanks to the conflict over the government threatening to take away funding for Planned Parenthood Clinics around the country.
I attended the Planned Parenthood Rally sum odd weeks ago and it was ELECTRIFYINGLY powerful. So many women and men gathered at the square in the middle of the court houses, some famous and some local, and the energy was so positive and loving.
I couldn't have felt more at home, like I really was in the right place at the right time, with my mom and friends beside me. It was amazing.

My great friend Ali put this article as her FB status last week and I though it was so well said that I just HAVE to share it here:
http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIIIE.html

What a speech! Thanks Ali <3

Tao Te Ching

Witter Bynner's translation of the Tao Te Ching:

Verse Number Ten
Can you hold the door of your tent
Wide to the firmament?
Can you, with simple stature
Of a child, breathing nature,
Become, notwithstanding,
A man?
Can you continue befriending
With no prejudice, no ban?
Can you, mating with heaven,
Serve as a female part?
Can you learned head take leaven
From the wisdom of your heart?
If you can bear issue and nourish its growing,
If you can guide without claim or strife,
If you can stay in the lead of men without their knowing,
You are at the core of life.

Robert G. Henricks Translation

Verse Number Ten 
In nourishing the should and embracing the One
- Can you do it without letting them leave?
In concentrating your breath and making it soft
- can you make it like that of a child?
In cultivating and cleaning your profound mirror
- can you do it so that it has no blemish?
In loving the people and giving life to the state
- can you do it without using knowledge?
In opening and closing the gates of Heaven-
can you play the part of the female?
In understanding all within the four reaches-
can you do it without using knowledge?

Give birth to them and nourish them.
Give birth to them but don't try to own them;
Help them to grow but don't rule them.

David K Reynolds Translation:

Verse Number Ten 
Can you focus totally on the task at hand?
Can you see and hear and touch you surroundings with an open mind?
Can you disregard your own convenience?
Can you feel and act naturally without obsessing with ought and should?
Whatever change occurs without flying away can you sit on the eggs of Reality?
Can you see clearly enough to know when nonaction is action?
Just offering, however accepted.
Just growing vast while growing small.
Just doing Reality's work.
Recognized or not.

This was what I found on page 6 of the large book Whole World; Access to TOOLS & IDEAS for the TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY. The page itself was entitled Ancient Understandings, where three books by three different authors are quoted and cited for translating the same verses. It was hauntingly beautiful and held such great meaning that I felt I needed to share it. 

babling and babling and babling awayyyyyyy...

Friday- October 5th, 2010 
9:01am

Repeat after me-
"Your not alone. your never really alone."
I am talking myself down from a possible hysteria due to stress from a yet to be completed paper and lack of any sleep.
You only feel that way when your scared of the unknown, of the challenges up a head that could possibly break your heart but could just as easily make you the person you are meant to become.
How do we do it. wake up each morning, fight the urge to just stay in bed, to be imobile and wallow in our uncertainties. Somehow we are able to get up, to get dressed, to give a shit about our higine in hopes that something new and good is about to come out way, and all we have to do is make sure we're at the right place and the right time to receive it. Are all the best things in life the hardest?

How can you know the right way to live? What if you've been doing it all wrong?
Are the conversations you have with friends less precious then an academic paper because your not graded on how well you relate to people. Or are those moments where you want to cry because you feel so lucky to have someone the reason god keeps letting us breed more and more humans each day.

WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR? WHAT IS OUR PURPOSE IN LIFE TO DO? 

God, if your listening, i'm not expecting an answer. I just want a sign that your there. looking over us and caring. Caring if we trip and fall, crash and burn. Sending us signals that as your children, as your people and the creation of your being, you love us. Because if you don't know love from god, how can u be sure love exist amongst people?

I want to explore more of this way of thinking. Perhaps philosophy really is more my forte and therefore I should consider picking it up as my minor, if i don't decide to pursue gender studies first.

Simone De Buevere, I wonder what it felt like to be you. A brilliant feminist philosopher boning on of the most brilliant men in the world. She must have been some kind of wonderful.

I have not seen my mom in two weeks, but what feels like longer. i am crazing on of her warm soft hugs.



Truth is, i have no fucking clue what I'm doing. I'm here, at college, on my own. forming relationships i never thought I'd have, overcoming issues I never dreamed I could concur on my own. Its all the time I still have to fuck it all up that scares me shitless. I can barely catch my breath at times, and then just barely to build up enough strength to let go and breath out. I feel so very vulnerable. my biggest comfort is when I am encountered with a person who snaps me back to the reality that we are all going through this, alone, together.

These are my thoughts at college thus far.

To be continued... 

The Stranger gets stranger

A theory brought up to me once before was that people relate to other people more easily in times of tragedy. The being because they are vulnerable and more prone to open up.

I had this in mind as I started to read the Book The Stranger by Albert Camus, where in the first chapter, on the first page in the first sentence the main character discovers his mother is dead. Yet it doesn't phase him because, as he stated on the last page of the second chapter

"Maman was buried now, I was going back to work, and that really, nothing had changed."

Meursault is unlike most who has lost a mother because he was unaffected and unemotional about something that is dramatic to most other people.
As the book continues it is clear he is a simple minded man who likes his routine and doesn't need a lot out of like to be content. Its something I've come to conclude he was brought up to believe.

"Looking back on it, I wasn't unhappy. When I was a student I had ambitions like that. But when I had to give up my studies I learned very quickly that none of it really mattered."
It was discovered later on in the book that it was because of his mother that he had to drop out of school and get a job. He had to learn about the hardship of life in a hard way. Giving up your dreams is like giving up a part of your childhood. For a lot of people dreams is all they have to get through the difficulties of the day because you had something better to look forward to in the logn run.
But that was taken away from him, and he no longer had that string of hope that told him tomorrow would be a brighter day.

In a way, I assumed that would mean he appreciated the things he did have more. But what I came to realize thanks to class discussions and group analysis was that he only truly took notice to the objective parts of his life rather then truly valuing the people in his it. He dismisses Marie's plea that she loves him and that they should get married as if she were talking about the weather. He puts more thought into her physical attributes and how he desires to have sex with her rather then pondering about how nice it is to have her in his life. This attitude towards his life comes up repeatedly as the book continues.

In the last chapter of the first part Meursault had just murdered the man trying to attack his friend Raymond. Although he had no personal motives or reason to shoot and kill this man, he was still charged and taken to jail for murder.

In the second part of the book we have the pleasure of seeing Meursault in a different setting, which helps shed a new light on his personality.
His is locked up in a cell for a year before his trial. While in the cell he must fight the urges of physical desires like smoking a cigaret, going for a swim or having sex. He comes to conclude