Movies i want to see.

Emma Roberts is just as good as her auntie. These pretty women have talent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbBSR1o6li4

Relaxing to the tunes of:

https://soundcloud.com/dolosouth


My darling Remedy said to me:
"we both our own form of crazy"


i am a slave to my sensitivity?!

i am Maleficent
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr6oVCtpKB4

i am beginning to see myself 
through the mirror of anothers eyes 
it is a deep and scary surprise 
to see how all this time you've been in disguise 
hiding the true person that is screaming inside 
that is now so fed up of the bullshit and lies 
that all she can do is meditate until she dies.

I am a lonely street Angel

I roam the streets aimlessly
searching for the stories waiting to be written

I am invisible only to my own eyes
I don't see myself or judge my own lies

Lies are the stories I wish were true
what may be real to me may not be real to you

you - the person I so wish to impress
it was you I had in mind when I put on this long flowing dress

dress, in a way you'll notice me
perhaps if you like what you see you won't look away so quickly.  

quickly, before the moment has passed.
Don't read this poem too slow or too fast.

stop looking at my past, for that is behind me now
just peer up at the sky and see how I hide in the clouds.

Clouds, more comforting then a mothers whom
who shall I be if I have yet to really bloom?

Candy Tastes Melancholy

My father likes to recite this poem to me when I am in distress about my mood swings:

Feeling good 

feeling bad 

feeling happy 

feeling sad 

aint it great

Just to be feeling

If my dad was a poet

If my dad was a poet
he's be a dark one
like Edgar Allen Poe

he'd write them in the margins of news papers
back of menus
or on napkins

if my father was a poet
he'd recite them aloud
play with the words in the air
and let anyone contribute
repeat them fervently proud

he'd let you think your were brilliant
he'd praise your efforts at all
he'd wear the poem like jewelry
he'd sing em like a song

he talks to the strangers of pedestrians
they have man a stories untold
"get to start drinking
and damn can't start"
ohhh wee the personality
 in that voice
south holds the most beloved treasures
of memories of past choice

he says
"I'm sure everyone has a good reason for
doing what they do,
if only we could listen
perhaps we'd understand too."

oh the things i've learned from those
who did what they were told not to
who lived in ways forbidden
who pushed the boundaries through and through

thats what we're all meant to do.

What do I want?

After years of confusion and mystery,
I've noticed one good thing I do is write of the things I feel and see.

Watching a Russel Brand video inspires a serious of ideas.
He said the 5 senses distract us, limits us.
The answer to our deepest questions
Comes from within.


Consciousness.
Brand speaks of consciousness

Space is infinite
Time is eternal

To do list:
Write
Meditate
Breathe
Read
Eat well
Yoga
Breathe
Read
Love
Love
Love

We are by our nature spiritual people.
Within ourselves there is an infinite capacity for connection off all things.

Poem for Antwuan

Antwuan

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
His little lungs roar
sending squirrels darting for the trees
as if a forbidden monster
has just been released

His 8 year old feet
big for his age
stomp through the parks
with an imaginary warrior rage

he is a hunter
and these squirrels are his prey
theres an adventure brewing in his imagination
he is strong, smart and brave

Far wiser then his single digit age.

This boy could steal your heart
he used his body like a work of art
fighting, dancing, hugging his peers
angry, sometimes, from misunderstood fear

fear, the only thing to fear is fear itself
knowing this boy has brought me invaluable wealth
from this day onward i carry him in my heart
til the day i die, in his name i will create art.

I want to be a researcher

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood." 

Such a generous thing for anybody to do, put another before themselves. So selfless. I suppose there were times I assumed a person would want to understand me forever. 

But just like the ticking of a clock, life is always moving forward. And with that movement comes change. A change in mind, a change in mood. A change of heart. 

Change can be beautiful, and it can be painful. But no matter what, change happens. 

Change changes. 

In your arms

I've taken a lover.
I've gone under covers.
I'm hiding beneath the sheets.
I'm curled up, hands to feet.

This may be the happiest moments in life,
a lover that is suffice,
a body to nuzzle and stare
two more hands to play with my hair.

Its seductive to lay in the night
skin to skin
no clothes
no lights.
Our senses are honed into one
feeling you touch me has won.

Breath in more deeply
and hold
pausing the moments of gold.
Let that sensation unfold
making me more and more bold.

Gasp for some air
and repeat
let the pleasure curl out of your feet.
Grab the mattress for dear life
give me your lower lip to bite.

How delicious this feeling can be
to feel you so close to me.
How lovely two bodies unite
safely in your arms wrapped tight.

I can relax in the air that you breath
i can be the affection you need.
Let me rest here til our heartbeats leave
I am safe here, I am free.